I often hear a number of my friends from CIT complain about "cleaning worship."
You see, a few years back, when we were Counselors-in-Training, we would get down on our hands and knees to crawl around the room, picking up dirt and fuzz and leaves, as a way of worshipping God. Many a CIT will dismiss it, as a cheap way to get the room clean, but it wasn't.
God taught me a big lesson through this kind of worship.
At the end of CIT, everyone went home. Except me. I was staying to work in the dishpit.
I was left to clean out the room we had lived in for the past 3 weeks. I walked into the lodge, looked at the room, and thought I would clean it the way we cleaned our session room during the program. I threw on Laurell Hubicks cd "Into Your Love," and began to crawl around the room, picking up twigs and fuzz balls, and by the time the song "Mercy" began to play, I was bawling. I was just crying so hard. I missed my friends, and I was hurting inside. I'm a master at bottling up my feelings, and so I was feeling those feelings begin to build up.
I continued to clean the room, but I gave up on lifting up matresses, and crawling under beds. Instead, I just wanted to clean what could be seen at first glance.
All of a sudden, I remembered the reason I was cleaning this way. The reason I wasn't doing a five minute vaccuum. I was cleaning this way to worship God. Every speck needed to go. I needed to squeeze under beds, and reach way back in the crevices, and get even the tiniest peices of filth I could find.
I realized I needed to do that in my life. I so often want my hurt to just be gone. I don't want to deal with the things that are hurting me, I just want them to disappear. I prefer to just make everything look fine and dandy from a glance, and not let anybody see what is in my heart. Really, I reach for the quick-fix...I want it gone, and I want it gone now.
But that is not how God works. Instead, He works on His own perfect timing, removing from me my ungodly doings. He waits, and allows me to learn from my pain that only He can satisfy.
It is when I instead pray to draw closer to God, without focusing on the hurt in my life, that I am filled with joy.
You see, a few years back, when we were Counselors-in-Training, we would get down on our hands and knees to crawl around the room, picking up dirt and fuzz and leaves, as a way of worshipping God. Many a CIT will dismiss it, as a cheap way to get the room clean, but it wasn't.
God taught me a big lesson through this kind of worship.
At the end of CIT, everyone went home. Except me. I was staying to work in the dishpit.
I was left to clean out the room we had lived in for the past 3 weeks. I walked into the lodge, looked at the room, and thought I would clean it the way we cleaned our session room during the program. I threw on Laurell Hubicks cd "Into Your Love," and began to crawl around the room, picking up twigs and fuzz balls, and by the time the song "Mercy" began to play, I was bawling. I was just crying so hard. I missed my friends, and I was hurting inside. I'm a master at bottling up my feelings, and so I was feeling those feelings begin to build up.
I continued to clean the room, but I gave up on lifting up matresses, and crawling under beds. Instead, I just wanted to clean what could be seen at first glance.
All of a sudden, I remembered the reason I was cleaning this way. The reason I wasn't doing a five minute vaccuum. I was cleaning this way to worship God. Every speck needed to go. I needed to squeeze under beds, and reach way back in the crevices, and get even the tiniest peices of filth I could find.
I realized I needed to do that in my life. I so often want my hurt to just be gone. I don't want to deal with the things that are hurting me, I just want them to disappear. I prefer to just make everything look fine and dandy from a glance, and not let anybody see what is in my heart. Really, I reach for the quick-fix...I want it gone, and I want it gone now.
But that is not how God works. Instead, He works on His own perfect timing, removing from me my ungodly doings. He waits, and allows me to learn from my pain that only He can satisfy.
It is when I instead pray to draw closer to God, without focusing on the hurt in my life, that I am filled with joy.
